Jati Umra-A Personal Memoir of Nawaz Sharif

Posted on October 29, 2015



Baby! Guess what I am back with my memoir writing stuff. It’s been a while isn’t it. Khair I just thought I should write to you guys and gals about my trip that proved to be a game changer sadly according to PTV only to none other than the land that keeps my political dreams alive.No! I am not talking about Kingdom of Saudi Arabia for Christ’s Sake ,We aren’t on good terms these days especially after I ditched them on Yemen conflict they seem to have grown more fond of Sharif but unfortunately that Sharif has a moustache, hairs on his head, stars on his shoulders and most importantly/unfortunately some sense. I am not convinced with that sense wala part ‘cause Raheel thinks that Nihari is not an actual dish.Can you believe that? How come someone think that Nihari is not an actual dish? Khair choro rehnay do. I once thought of sacking him on that charge wese but Maryam told me baba It isn’t you it is lassi speaking.

As we all know that the geopolitical situation of this region is changing. From ‘47 onwards till ’89 we were part of western bloc (USA,US,EU) you know but soon after Soviet Union was dismembered and the war was over in Afghanistan we were left all alone to fend for ourselves. We were the most sanctioned ally of West. So now that USA is again leaving Afghanistan, their priorities are changing off-course they became more close to India and are giving us a treatment that usually our ex gives us,my job is to make sure that we don’t get sanctioned like we were in the past and we get our fair share of if not civil then military aid.

My relations with GHQ are already tensed and Raheel would kick my butt if I fail to convince US President not to consider discontinuing our ally support fund .In other words my job is to make sure that US does not friend zone us and our relationship remains as intimate as it was during war times. See now that I have used that particular term many of our young folks would find it easy connecting to me. That’s what politics/dating is all about finding a connection and building on it.Huh! Sastay Ashiq but I don’t mind getting their votes haha young votes.Watch your back Immi Comin right at you.

Well guys and gals I’ll throw more light on my historic visit to America some other time but now I’d like to talk about some of my local victories. As you all know that I am the most popular leader of Pakistan my approval rating has gone up to 75 percent according to PILDAT survey leaving behind all elderly statesmen including Raheel Sharif,Imran Khan and Asif Zardari. Now I could sleep well and wait for the next big moment to come naturally and if it does not come I’d rather buy a moment for myself and make it big using national television,GEO and whatnot .That’s what ultra-rich and blessed people do,if right moments don’t come naturally to them they buy ‘em,simple as that.Till then goodbye bitches. Love ya all.

Regards,

Nihari wala Sharif

Nawaz Sharif naam toh suna hoga

Sher! Sher! Sherrrrr!